Milk exists for one purpose: to make baby mammals grow.  
I am a baby mammal.

There is only one week left in the GOMAD Project.  Here is an update.
The Plan:  Drink One Gallon of Cheap Whole Milk in Addition Other Foods Daily For One Month or Until I gain 13 pounds.  Whichever happens first. 

I did not invent the GOMAD (Gallon Of Milk A Day) diet.  It is a common choice among young men in a pinch to put on pounds fast. The reason why GOMAD works is simple.  For one thing there are two thousand five hundred and sixty calories in a gallon of whole milk.  In addition to that caloric push, milk has unique hormonal attributes including IGF-1 that drive growth.  Dairy products also drive a strong insulin response that is out of proportion with its modest volume of sugar. 

This is my third consecutive intervention experiment:  July= Paleo, August= Vegan, September=Milk

This is a good way to contrast the acute effects on strength, energy, body composition, beard growth etc.

Results so Far:

Beard?  Luxurious.  Energy?  Down.  Strength? Up.  Handsomeness?  Down. Markedly. (Friends tell me I’m beginning to resemble Vince Vaughn.  Not his charm or his height.  His trademark puffy eyes and his pasty swollen party face.)

Body Composition:
My numbers have plateaued.  I was initially gaining weight at an alarming rate.  A full pound every other day going from 192.6 on 9/11/10 to 196.2 on 9/17/10.  That is just 6 days.  Imagine what that looks like after 6 months?!  As I told my wife “imagine how great it will be when there is twice as much of me!”  A surprising thing happened after that.  I plateaued and then lost weight leveling out for the last ten days at 194.4 pounds.  I am today only 3 pounds heavier than I was when I was a vegan nearly a month ago.  This doesn’t seem reasonable.

The 3 Phases of Acceptance-
1)  Confrontation:
The scale doesn’t lie.  I came across some facts about the dairy industry that made cheap milk an unacceptable option.  If you would like to continue to enjoy the simple pleasure of cheap milk then do not follow this link.  You can’t unring the bell.  It made me question why on earth I was doing this to my body and I made the switch to organic milk. 

2)  Blame:
There is something wrong with this milk.  It clearly doesn’t work.  I wish I could take it back but is too late.  What kind of dwarven pygmy cattle are they milking at Horizon?  I blame the cows.  Maybe I should have stuck to my guns and stayed on the cheap milk.

3)  Acceptance:
I Blame Myself. 
I became complacent.  I depended too often on the Moo Juice to supply all that I needed.  I’d occasionally pull down half a gallon after my morning workout then charge off to the clinic without breakfast.

With only a week to go the question is what to do now?  I’ll complete the task but I’ve been told to switch to chocolate milk if I want to get past this weight plateau.  Interesting.  I’ll let you know how it goes next week.  Moo.


  1. Scott on September 29, 2010 at 5:34 am

    dear sir, please eat more. it is a gallon of milk ON TOP(ie after your regular meal) of the other food you eat all day. this is a common mistake of the complacent beginner milk drinker. This will not be easy. please eat atleast 4 meals a day AND THEN drink the gallon as well. i gained 30 lbs in 6 weeks. the Eating should be harder than the training.

  2. Skylar Pond, D.C. on September 29, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    I agree but I don't know if I'm up for another 30 days on the moo juice to get it right. I could maybe push it to six weeks though. . .

  3. Zach on September 30, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    I can attest to Scotts swollen body growth. His gargantuan beautiful body was jammed into a small wrestling singlet at the Washington Sectionals last year. The sheer aura of his masculine belly and rippling quads spoke for it's self and the glory that is milk. He also killed the muscle up workout, like a little Yoda with a belly swinging from here to there.

    GOMAD… Go Milk