Person Food
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| AC Milan: wasted youth. |
This wantonly indulgent behavior isn’t even what I envy. Where they have it good is with big bags of nutrition simply labeled “CAT FOOD.” If AC Milan here needs to bump up his caloric intake to recover from doing 7 minutes of burpees or some cat equivalent, he hits the food bowl twice. Easy. I want that. If you know where I can get huge bags of balanced nutrition labeled “Man Food’ please send me that link. Until then, there is Viking Hash:
Behold.
1) 4 large sweet potatoes cubed
2) 1 yellow Onion
3) 1 shallot
4) 4 cloves garlic
Get the biggest wok you can find good and hot and add items 1-4 with some butter (optional)
Cook the following items separately and add them as they are ready.
1.5 lbs. ground Turkey lightly salted
One Pack of bacon (Bake in the oven, pour the grease into the potato/onion wok, chop into bits and add)
2 chopped turkey dogs (They were in the fridge so. . . )
1/2 lbs. ground beef
1.5 lbs. pulled pork shoulder (6 hours in the slow cooker. Add at the end.)
LOTS of olive oil
1 head of broccoli (rubbed with olive oil, salt & pepper then oven roasted @ 400 for 9 minutes)
16 brussels sprouts (ditto)
A fist full of spinach at the end.
If you’re looking for caloric density, add all of the bacon and turkey grease and top it with an avocado and more olive oil. I wish I could just toss a big bag of this stuff over my shoulder and eat it from a shiny metal bowl on my kitchen floor.
You may never know the occult pleasures of getting wacked out of your gourd on catnip and cleaning your entire body with a coarse tongue but you CAN have this. Person food. Enjoy.
