#poohjacked

This repost is brought to you by the Blog of Morgan Junction Crossfit– Old Country Strong

“Winnie The Pooh is JACKED.”

– Well worn poohbook

I’ve read my boys our  A.A. Milne copy of Pooh so many times that the hard cover was lost and forgotten years ago.  I’ve always been fond of the bear of very little brain, but this was an angle I had not yet considered.

This all started with the Zach Filer’s random and passionate assertion that “Grizzley bears eat honey for strength.”  It then got personal – “Winnie the Pooh is JACKED.  YOU need to get #poohjacked.”  Yes, he sometimes hashtags verbally.  This came a little out of left field but he was armed with the swift and blinding logic of a man used to arguing his point.

1)       “The man has no neck”

2)       “His arms are as thick as his quads!”

3)       “He doesn’t have thumbs so he carries shit with a Gorilla Grip all day long.”

The guy is starting to make a lot of sense here.  I looked over my old book with new eyes and came to the following conclusion:

I do need to get Poohjacked, and you do too.

First off, let’s get real clear about which Winnie The Pooh we’re talking about here.  The original 1926 Pooh is the only jacked one.  This is an important distinction and it may prove useful.

Exhibit A – JACKED  

– A thumbless Gorilla grip farmers’ carry all day long without a stitch of clothing on. The guy is a legend.

Exhibit B – Distinctly NOT JACKED

 – Rounded Thoracic spine to match some anterior head carriage.  Shame.  Oh, and Sweet midriff. 

Never mind the fact that the Disney bear or Exhibit B has so habitually broken his gorilla grip that he actually grew thumbs.  The important distinction between the two and the secret to the original Pooh’s stoutness is his rigid spine.  He is a stuffed bear and likely has no spine so he has that genetic advantage  but you could learn from this bear of very little brain.

Maintaining a rigid spine during athletic movements allows the athlete to treat their spine and surrounding musculature like an efficient and simple system of levers and pullys.   The ability to maintain rigid tension through that lever determines how much energy is wasted in the motion between the 26 individual elements that compose the lever that is your spine.

Countless other examples of #Poohjacked can be found.

– Rigid spine = Perfect hamstring tension while dislodging one’s self from pots of hunny.

– No spine means no problem knocking out hollow rocks and long sets of perfect push-ups while hitting that morning session of “stoutness exercises before the glass.”

Need to hold plank while you check if a heffelump has eaten your honey in the bottom of a Very Deep Pit? Not a problem.

Conclusion:  Life is hard when you have a spine.  Everything from hamstring tension to your workplace ergonomics wants to flex your spine and compromise that powerful lever that you work so hard to maintain.  The explosive hip extension that you cultivate as an athlete is a canon.  If your spine lacks the capacity to lock into rigidity, then you are firing the canon from a canoe.  Every time you pick something up, every time you sit down, you have a choice.  Build a barge.  #poohjacked

Written by: Skylar

About the Authour: Dr. Skylar Pond graduated from The University of Western States with a doctorate in chiropractic in 2008. He continued his education at UWS to achieve the additional degree of Certified Chiropractic Sports Physican and serves as the team physician of the Old Country Iron Club’s Competition Team. To fully view Sky’s background and look at his home facilities web page Click Here to learn more about the Doc.